If I Had $1,000,000

Barenaked Ladies

If I had $1,000,000
(if I had $1,000,000)
I'd buy you a house
(I would buy you a house)
If I had $1,000,000
(if I had $1,000,000)
I'd buy you furniture for your house
(Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman)
If I had $1,000,000
(if I had $1,000,000)
Well, I'd buy you a K-Car
(a nice reliant automobile!)
If I had $1,000,000
I'd buy your love.

If I had $1,000,000
I'd build a tree fort in our yard.
If I had $1,000,000
You could help, it wouldn't be that hard.
If I had $1,000,000
Maybe we could put put a little tiny fridge in there somewhere...

[We could just go up there and hang out.
Like open the fridge and stuff,
and there'd already be foods laid out for us
Like little pre-wrapped sausages and things.
Mmmmm.
They have pre-wrapped sausages but they don't have pre-wrapped bacon.
Well, can you blame them?
Yeah!]

If I had $1,000,000
(if I hadd $1,000,000)
I'd buy you a fur coat
(but not a real fur coat, that's cruel)
If I had $1000000 (if I had $1,000,000)
Well, I'd buy you an exotic pet
(Like a llama. Or an emu)
If I had $1,000,000
(if I had $1,000,000)
Well, I'd buy you John Merrick's remains
(All them crazy elephant bones)
If I had $1,000,000
I'd buy your love

If I had $1,000,000
We wouldn't have to walk to the store
If I had $1000000
We'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more
If I had $1,000,000
We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner...

[But we would eat Kraft Dinner.
Of course we would--we'd just eat more.
And buy really expensive ketchups with it.
That's right, all the fanciest--Dijon Ketchup!
Mmmmmm.]

If I had $1,000,000
(if I had $1,000,000)
I'd buy you a green dress
(but not a real green dress, that's cruel)
If I had $1,000,000
(if I had $1,000,000)
I'd buy you some art
(a Picasso or a Garfunkel)
If I had $1,000,000
(if I had $1,000,000)
I'd buy you a monkey
(haven't you always wanted a monkey?)
If I had $1,000,000 I'd buy your love

If I had $1,000,000, if I had $1,000,000
If I had $1,000,000, if I had $1,000,000

I'd be rich.